


Acts of War

by Unquiet_Words



Series: NaNo Drabbles [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 10:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unquiet_Words/pseuds/Unquiet_Words
Summary: Tobirama finds none of this amusing - and that's a lie he can't even convince himself of
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Senju Tobirama
Series: NaNo Drabbles [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533623
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	Acts of War

His brother had always been A Lot, but lately he’d really been pushing boundaries of that. All Tobirama could do was stare at the latest example of that, groceries still dangling from one hand while the other held their mail, stopped short when he saw their living room had been taken over by organized piles of pillows and quilts and all the sheets that had originally been kept in the hall closet.

Off in the corner of the room, jutting out from the biggest pile of cushions was a thin stick. It was hardly able to hold up the weight from the construction paper that had been taped to it, and with his contacts so out of date Tobirama almost make out the letters for “Fort Nii-san” - and almost missed the top of his brother’s head where it was poking out from the fort.

He wasn’t allowed to find this amusing. Whatever ‘this’ was. Tobirama told himself that quite firmly as he set the grocery bags down in front of the door, making sure to lock up before picking his way through the mess.

“You’ve been busy. Was only gone for an hour.”

“Stay back!” Hashirama popped his head further up with his fiercest frown, holding up what must have been a paper wad in one of his fists. “No little brothers allowed!”

That might have been less amusing if he had any hurt feelings over all the times he’d heard _that_ line. But considering how Hashirama and his best friend had always come crawling to Tobirama and all the little brothers after their forts were always better, he really only found it more amusing. Was just a shame that Hashirama hadn’t improved in his fort building after all those years.

Not that he was approving of this mess. Of course not. Tobirama was far too reasonable for that.

“And what, pray tell, has caused my banishment from my own living room?” He tried not to grin, pressing his lips together and crossing his arms rightly across his chest. Tobirama was not playing along. Not in the slightest.

Hashirama’s other hand came up, which had apparently been supporting him since he nearly pitched over when he lifted it to point an accusing finger at him, only barely managing to stop himself and prevent what would have been a collapse of his kingdom. “What’s in that bag is what caused it! I’m not having any of it - not one single bite!”

Figures it would be something like this. Tobirama glanced back at the innocent groceries that were all slumped over on the floor, telling himself once again that he wasn’t allowed to find humor in any of this. “Doctor’s orders, Anija. The diet’s only for a few weeks anyway.”

Whatever scowl Hashirama tried to pull off at that wasn’t working. It just looked like a pained pout, his nose all scrunched up and face generally pinched together as if he was having stomach problems. “I’m not eating it, and you can’t make me.”

“Oh?” Not the first time he’d heard such a challenge but it was an entirely different context when he had - and had really promised a lot more fun when he last did. As it was Tobirama could just raise his eyebrow as he turned back to his brother, finding the idiot nodding fiercely in turn.

“For too long I’ve been subjected to such horrors!” At the mumbled reminder that it had been a whole whopping two days on his diet Hashirama just got louder, holding the fist that still held a paper wad higher in the air. “I won’t stand for it a moment longer! Let it be known that, for hence forth, Fort Nii-san is defecting from House Senju!”

“It’s ‘from hence forth’.” His brother wilted at the correction and Tobirama finally couldn’t help but grin, shaking his head at the idiot’s antics. Amusement winning out, he decided it would hardly be fair for his brother to have all the fun. “But, just so it’s clear, not a single bite?”

At the practical battle cry of “Not! One!” Tobirama found himself smirking, turning back towards the groceries with a shrug. “Well, I guess if that’s the case-” he bent down and rummaged through one of the bags until he found a small container of, in his opinion, _disgusting_ cookies, wanting to sneer at the overly sweet pink icing that coated the top of them- “then I won’t be able to share any of these. What a shame.”

A gasp of sheer _betrayal_ came from behind him but Tobirama still plopped himself right on the ground (considering there was no way he’d be sitting on a cushionless sofa) and pried open the plastic lid, ignoring Hashirama’s wail of “You don’t even _like them_” - a very _very_ accurate point, but it was not at all _his_ point when he pulled one out and forced himself to bite a large chunk out of it.

If his brother wanted to declare himself a separate state then he’d simply have to deal with consequences, and Tobirama was not at all above cruel and unusual acts during war - not even the ones that would have his stomach aching from too much sugar for the rest of the afternoon.


End file.
